Kenneth Muir, Life and Letters of Sir Thomas Wyatt, Liverpool University Press, 1963, p. 38-43

Wyatt's son, at the early age of fifteen, had been married to Jane, the daughter of Sir William Hawte, of Bourne, in Kent. The marriage had probably taken place in the latter half of 1536 or in the early months of 1537. Wyatt, on his way to Spain, remembering the failure of his own marriage and his two imprisonments, took the opportunity of a short stay in Paris [Letters and Papers, XII, (i) No. 949.] (where he conferred with the Ambassador there, the Bishop of Winchester) to write a letter of advice to the young bridegroom:

(I) WYATT TO HIS SON

In as mitch as now ye ar come to sume yeres of understanding, and that you should gather within your self sume frame of honestye, I thought that I should not lese my labour holy if now I did something advertise you to take the suer fondations and stablisht opinions, that leadeth to honestye. And here I call not honestye that men comenly cal honestye, as reputation for riches, for authoritie, or some like thing, but that honestye that I dare well say your Grandfather (whos soule god pardon) had rather left to me then all the lands he did leave me -- that was wisdome, gentlenes, sobrenes, disire to do good, frendlines to get the love of manye, and trougth above all the rest. A great part to have al thes things is to desire to have them: and altho Glorye and honest name are not the verye endes wherfor thes thinges are to be folowed, yet surly they must nedes folowe them, as light folowth fire, though it wer kindled for warmth. Out of these things the chiefest and infallible grond is the dread and Reverens of God, wherapon shall ensue the eschewing of the contraries of thes sayd vertues, — that is to say, Ignorans, unkindnes, Raschnes, desire of harme, unquiet enmytie, hatred, manye and crafty falshed, the verie Rote of al shame and dishonestye.

I say the only dred and reverens of god that seeth al things is the defens of the creping in of al thes mischiefs into you. And for my part, altho I do not say ther is no man that wold his son better then I, yet on my faith I had rathir have you liveles then subject to these vices. Think and imagine always that you are in presens of some honist man that you know, as Sir Jhon Russel, your father-in-law, your unkle, parson, or some other such, and ye shal, if at ony time you find a plesur in naughtye touchis, remember what shame it wer afore thes men to doo naughtily. And sure this imagination shal cause you remember that the pleasure of a naughty deed is sone past, and that rebuke, shame, and the note therof shal remayne ever. Then if thes things ye take for vayne imaginations, yet remember that it is certayn and no imagination that ye are alwaye in the presens and sight of god : and tho ye see him not, so mitch is the reverens the more to be had, for that he seeth and is not seen. Men punish with shame as greatist punischment on erth, ye greater then death, but his punischment is first the withdrawing of his favour and grace, and in leving his hand to rule the sterne, to let the ship runne without guyde to your owne distruction, and suffreth so the man that he forsaketh to runne hedlong, as subject to al mishaps, and at last with shameful and to evirlasting shame and deth. Ye may see continual examples both of the one sort and th'other, and the bettir if ye mark them wel that your self are come of. And consider wel your good grandfathir what things ther wer in him, and his end ; and they that knew him notid him thus : first and chiefly to have a great reverens of god and good opinion of godly things, next that ther was no man more piteful, no man more trew of his word, no man faster to his frend, no man diligenter nor more circumspect, which thing both the kings his masters notid in him greatly. And if thes things, and specially the grace of god that the feare of god alway kept with him, had not ben, the chansis of thes troublesome worlde that he was in had long ago ovirwhelmid him. This preservid him in prison from the handes of the tirant that could find in his hart to see him rakkid, from two yeres and more prisonment in Scotland, in Irons and Stoks, from the danger of sodeyn changes and commotions divers, till that welbelovid of many, hatid of none, in his fair age and good reputation godly and Christenly he went to him that lovid him for that he always had him in reverens. And of myself I may be a nere example unto you of my foly and unthriftnes that hath as I wel deservid broght me into a thousand dangers and hazardes, enmyties, hatrids, prisonments, despits and indignations : but that god hath of his goodnes chastized me and not cast me cleane out of his favour, which thing I can impute to no thing but to the goodnes of my good fathir, that I dare wel say purchasid with continual request of god his grase towards me more then I regardid or considred my self, and a litel part to the smal fear that I had of god in the most of my rage and the litel delite that I had in mischiefe. You therefor, if ye be sure and have god in your sleve, to cal you to his grase at last, ventur not hardily by myne example apon naughty unthriftines in trust of his goodnes ; and besides the shame I dare lay ten to one ye shal perisch in the adventur : for trust not that my wisch or desire of god for you shall stand you in as mitch effect as I think my fathirs did for me, we ar not all acceptid of him. Beginne therfore betimes, make god and goodnes your fundations. Make your examples of wise and honist men ; shote at the mark; be no mokker -- mokkes folow them that delite therin. He shal be suer of shame that felith no grefe in othir mens shames. Have your frends in a reverens and think unkindnes to be the greatist offens, and lest punishid amongst men, but so mitch the more to be dread, for god is Justiser apon that alone. Love wel and agre with your wife, for where is noyse and debate in the hous, ther is unquiet dwelling. And mitch more wher it is in one bed. Frame wel your self to love, and rule wel and honestly your wife as your felow, and she shal love and reverens you as her hed. Such as you are unto her such shal she be unto you. Obey and reverens your father-in-law as you wold me; and remember that long life foloweth them that reverens theyr fathirs and eldirs. And the blissing of god for good agrement between the wife and husband is fruyt of many children, which I for the like thinge doe lack, and the faulte is both in your mother and me, but chieflie in her.

Rede oft this my lettre and it shal be as tho I had oftin writtin unto you. And think that I have herin printid a fatherly affection to you. If I may see that I have not lost my payne, myne shal be the contentation and yours the profit. And apon condition that you folow my advertisment I send you gods blessing and myne, and as wel to come to honestye as to encreas of yeres.

At Paris, the 15th of Aprill, your lovinge father,

THOMAS WYAT

Young Thomas preserved this letter carefully, and after his father's death copied it into the manuscript of his poems ; but from Wyatt's next letter, written to him from Spain, it seems that he did not immediately acknowledge the receipt of the first:

(2) WYATT TO HIS SON

I doubt not but long ere this time my lettres are come to you. I remember I wrate to you in them that if you read them oftin it should be as tho I had writtin oftin to you : for al that I can not so content be but stil to cal apon you with my lettres. I wold not for al that if any thing be wel warnid in the othir, that you shold leave to remember it bicaus of this new, for it is not like with advertisments as it is with apparel that with long wering a man castith away when he hath new. Honest teching nevir were onles they were out of his remembrans that shold kepe and folow them to the shame and hurt of him self.

Think not also that I have any new or chang of advertisments to send you, but stil it is one that I wold : I have nothing to crye and cal apon you for mut honestye, honestye. It may be diversly namid, but alway it tendith to one end. And as I wrate to you last, I meane not that honestye that the comen sort callith an honist man : Trust me that honist man is as comen a name as the name of a good felow, that is to say, a dronkerd, a taverne hanter, a riotter, a gamer, a waster : so are among the comen sort al men honist men that are not knowin for manifest naughtye kanves. Seke not, I pray the, my son, that honesty which aperith and is not in dead. Be wel assured it is no comen thing nor no comen mans jugement to juge wel of honestye, nor it is no come thing to come by : but so mitch it is the more goodlye for that it is so rare and strang. Folow not therfor the comen reputation of honestye : if you wil seme honist, be honist, or els seame as you are. Seke not the name without the thing, nor let not the name be the only mark you shote at : that wil folow tho you regard it not, ye and the more you regard it the lesse. I meane not by regard it not, estme it not; for wel I wot honist name is goodly, but he that huntith only for that is like him that had rathir seame warme then be warme, and edgith a single cote about with a furre. Honist name is to be kept preservid and defendid; and not to employ al a mans wit about the studye of that for it smellith of a glorious and ambitious fole. I say as I wrote unto you in my last lettirs, get the thing and the othir must of necessite folow as the shodow foloweth the thing that it is of. And evin so mitch is the verye honeste bettir then the name as the thing is bettir then the shadow.

The coming to this pointe that I wold so fayne have you have is to consider a mans awne self, what he is and wherfor he is. And herin let him think verilye that so goodly a work as man is, for whom al othir things wer wroght, was not wroght but for goodly things. Aftir a man hath gottin a wil and desire to them is first to avoyd evil and learne that poynt alone nevir to doo that that within your self you find a certain grudging against. No doubt in any thing you doo, if you axe your self or examine the thing for your self afore you do it, you shal find, if it be evill, a repining against it. My son, for our lords love, kepe wel that repining : suffer it not to be darkid and corruptid by noughty example, as tho any thing were to you excusable bicaus othir men doo the same. That same repining, if it did punisch as he doth juge, ther wer no such justicer. And, of truth, so doth it punisch, but not so apparantly. Here how we think it is no smal grefe of a consciens that condemnith it self, but be wel asurid aftir this life it is a continual gnawing.

When ther is a custome gottin of avoyding to do evil, then cannot a gentle courage be contented to be Idle and to rest without doing enything. Then too had ye nede to gathir an hepe of good opinions and to get them perfectly as it wer on your fingers ends : Reason not greatly apon the approving of them, take them as alreadye approvid bicaus they wer of honist mens leavings, of them god ther is no question. And it is no smal help to them the good opinion of moral philosophers, among whom I wold Senek were your studye and Epictetus, bicaus it is litel to be evir in your bosome.

Thes things shall lead you to know goodly things, which when a man knoweth and takith plesure in them, he is a best that foloweth not them, no nor he can not but folow them. But take this for conclusion and sume of al, that if god and his grase be not the fundation, nother can ye avoyd evill nor juge wel, nor doo any goodly thing. Let him be fundation of al, wil thes things, desire them ernestly, and seke them at his hands and knolege them to come of him, and questionles he wil both geve you the use and plesure in using them, and also reward you for them that come of him, so liberal and good is he. I wolde fayne se that my lettres myght worke to frame you honist : And think that without that I esteme nothing of you, no not that you are my sone ; for I reken it no small deshonistye to my self to have an unhonist taught child. But the fault shal not be in me. I shal do the part of a fathir : And if you answer not to that I loke for at your hands, I shal as wel studye with that that I shal leave to make sum honist man as you. I remitt you wholie to your father-in-lawe. Recommend me to my daughter Jane and my daughter Besse ; and wrote unto me, at the least to exercise your hand. And farewell, with Gods blessinge.